• just a servant...

Small choices...

Small choices turn into big changes. Especially when it come to quitting smoking. ...I know another quitting smoking rant, but, its something I want and need to do. I was sitting on my bed watching YouTube videos and I decided I wanted a cigarette. So, what did I do? I decided to chew a piece of nicotine gum instead. It didn't give me what I wanted, but it took the craving away and has kept me cool for about an hour. That's one less cigarette smoked. Small victory for me. I know I'll end up smoking another cigarette but it won't be for a while. So the idea of just putting one off for a little while makes me feel like I'm one small step closer to my goal. I've already beat this smoker's mindset once. Its hard. I really want to do it again. I just can't stand the fact I can't sing anymore. That is going to be the tipping point of me quitting, deciding if I'd rather sing or smoke. I love to sing. I'm just addicted to smoking. I can quit smoking, I don't want to quit singing. Its going to take a lot of prayer and want to to actually go through with it. I've just got to put my priorities in order. Praising the Lord is way more important than smoking. Baby steps. Just remember every journey starts off with a single step. Its something that I'm going to have to do. If not, I'll die a horrible smoker's death. I've already seen how those turn out. Masks, tubes, oxygen tanks. How will I be able to sleep with all of that stuff on? This is something that lies close to my heart. I watched it basically take both my parents lives. Its just irresponsible for me to go down the same path knowing where it ends up. Living a really humdrum lifestyle makes smoking really easy. Why? Because it gives you something to do. Watch some YouTube, smoke cigarette. Get something to eat, smoke a cigarette. Do a podcast, smoke a cigarette. You get the picture. I need to find something to fill in those gaps where I would usually smoke a cigarette that I'll want and continue to do. That's the hard part. It's all this sitting around that makes smoking so easy. I don't know . I just wanted to post. I'm having a good day. I feel good. I've eaten and taken all my medications so far. Its getting close to time for another refill. I've got to keep an eye on that. Other than that I hope you're having a good day. Thanks for checking in. May the Lord bless you.

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