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What am I doing?.....

I find myself erasing a whiteboard, writing down all my "favorite" sites and apps. I am writing down all my passwords. My memory is just getting bad. At least my home life is getting better. The sad thing overall is, with bi-polar, there's always a downside. My downside has crept back up again. I feel useless. I feel like the world just doesn't even need me. This is the part where being a christian helps the most. Its the faith versus knowing part. I know that Christ loves me. I know Heaven awaits. I have faith in my medication, that doesn't mean I know it works. I know Jesus is real. I'll just keep counting on him. I'll continue to take all my medications also. Even this new shot that kept my butt sore for days. I don't know... Thank you Lord for waking me up today, life is a precious gift that must not be taken for granted. Grace is immeasurable. Help me be better today than I was yesterday to help bring glory to your name. This I pray in the precious name of Jesus. Amen. Lord I just want peace in this manic time I have to go through, you can bring it to me.

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